Week 32: Media Ban?

Week 32: Media Ban?

So, I don’t think it’s just me. Since the election, I think a lot of people were triggered to activate their compulsive behavior. I read a lot of facebook updates where people were choosing food (and drink ) as their comfort. I cannot exclude myself from that group. The nutritional content of my meals have been questionable at best, and there was a definite spike in my sugar intake. I also have a handy bottle of wine at the ready. A definite F it approach to life has taken hold.

I would be interested to see the statistics on shopping in America post election as well.

But okay, enough. I need to stop talking about the election aka E day, because seriously, my head is going to pop off.

This week I seriously considered a media ban. Not because I want to be uninformed, but because there is TOO MUCH information and opinions flying about. I also can’t stop compulsively re-posting  articles here and there that encapsulate my thoughts in more coherent ways than I can …which tend to be very satisfying rants. Again, we probably don’t need more of that in our feeds. I can get sucked into it for hours, but much like a cold overcast day, or a burger bun that turns to mush mid consumption, it affects my mood. I found myself feeling impatient and being short with my kids. Yes, what is going on in our world right now is important, and I can’t turn a total blind eye, but my kids truly do come first (I am also acutely aware that we may not have a world left for our kids due to this Armageddon…but like I said, enough! Enough.) ( Oh gad I SO want to rant right now…but self restraint…)

I did not, in fact, ban myself from all media. But I did do away with the smart phone at night. That in itself had a great impact as I actually managed to fall asleep without stressful thoughts whirling around in my head ( since E day I’ve been waking up in cold sweats and/or not sleeping much at all). I also am starting to think that putting my opinion up on a feed is just the most passive way to get involved. I think that yes we need to have strong opinions and yes we need to fight, but it’s going to have to be something more tangible, something in the physical realm. My mind is still trying to sort it all out, what can I, as a mom of two wee ones, do to be actively fighting/protesting what is to come?  I’ll let you know what I arrive at (okay, no more politics, my mom will kill me. I don’t blame her for worrying that dissenters will be flagged. Seriously, this shit is getting scary.)

Deep breath. New topic.

I love people. I love being around people and eating good food. Arguably, perhaps I started to overload my schedule with play dates and dinners with guests, which all ads to the impact on the wallet, but by god it is a NECESSITY. So yes, I have been to the grocery store a few too many times (read: every other day) this past and current week…and yes I will be right back at it tomorrow since it’s Thanksgiving in two days, but it’s all been food. For the love of food and company. It’s good for the soul.

My one comfort splurge arrived in the mail this past week. 20161122_081839.jpgIt has already been put to good use. It is so awesome to have so many songs at my finger tips. It definitely helped me get into my happy place more than once this week. And it does the spirit good seeing my littles sing along and dance and clap while I play.

I also received a most delightful care package from my Auntie in Canada. Some great clothes for the kids as well as a Derek Alexander bag for me; one that I had coveted while visiting in Canada. It’s pretty much the perfect bag, black and nondescript, easy to wipe clean, with SO many useful pockets. I can have dipes and wipes in one pocket and then my own personal items in another, with tons more left for whatever. Two water bottles fit on either side. Anyway, it’s perfect. I am so spoiled. And last week or the week before I mentioned how others doing similar challenges don’t even accept gifts from family or friends…I can say that I am definitely not playing by those rules! Thanks Auntie!!20161122_083352.jpg

And now, because it’s Thanksgiving week and Nana has the kids ( and I am already two days late in posting) I bid you adieu and try to get some things done that I might not otherwise be able to!!

Week 31: In Which I Discover My Main Shopping Trigger

Week 31: In Which I Discover My Main Shopping Trigger

So, as it turns out, the fear/anxiety/shock combo inspires a sort of fatalism in me that overrides any sense of self control/self preservation.

I suspect this might be something I am not alone in.

This week sent shock waves through the population. I am not going to go into it because that might just open a flood gate( If you are reading this post years into the future, I’ll give you a hint: US Election 2016).

This post is not about politics, it’s about discovering my main shopping trigger which is extreme negative emotion. The fatalism that comes with that is what leads me to want to abandon any self regulation I might be constraining myself with. Luckily I have no alcoholic tendencies, no interest in drugs, little to no time for television and no interest in video games or god forbid, extreme exercise.

So what was left for me, aside from hiding from the world, was shopping. By god, it felt like the end of the world was neigh so what the F, who gives a orange shit turd, let’s shop. Unlike my usual approach these days, which is to try and not even open my computer when the urge hits, I immediately started pulling up screens on items I wanted, reading the reviews and toying with putting them in my cart to see what it would total. Would the shipping be free?

Only, I also discovered something else about myself. That I care more about this effort to curb my spending through self reflection. I could see what this compulsion was, and instead of hitting “buy” I just took a deep breath and closed my computer. I had screens open on new ukuleles, used ukuleles, music, clothes. I shut it down. Yes, I opened it again, but then again, I chose to shut it down.

What I did buy was groceries. I breathed through my anger and powered past the extras and just bought groceries and even avoided the junk “comfort” food.

Okay, I did get two things online: dried elderberries ( I plan on making my own elderberry syrup for cold/flu season this year) and…a book of ukulele music (which I agonized over long before this week…but which became a necessity after this week, because music can transform bad moods into good! I’ve been playing my uke a lot this week).

What I wasn’t able to curb, was my compulsive reading of news on my smartphone. That’s a problem. I am seriously thinking about a media ban in my future. But for now, since the media is what I use to: keep this busy mama informed, and most importantly, keep this mama writing about and sharing her no spending challenge, I will be keeping the media for the immediate future.

And that’s it folks…oh yeah. I bought vinyl. You can read about that here and tell me if it was a necessity or not.

Week 30: Swing States

Week 30: Swing States

I’m not talking politics ( please god, no more! One more day to go!), I’m talking me swinging from one emotional state to another. The one state is wild optimism, the other is discouragement.

I’ve been trying to do the math. This is my report for week 30…that’s 7.5 months. What in all that time have I achieved/discovered/changed about the way I spend money?

Before I answer that question (or attempt to) let me just say that the feeling of defeat or, rather, discouragement is coming from the fact that I encountered a few other blogs and posts on facebook by other people doing a similar challenge as myself. One did no shopping for anything new at all for 200 days. The other did an entire year of no shopping. The second gal  really went all in, I mean, all in, no coffee, no car, not even accepting gifts from family.

Now, I know I shouldn’t compare. For one, these folks were doing it without kids; that makes a huge difference. I can’t see myself giving up driving or turning away gifts of clothes for the girls etc. It’s not a challenge to see if we can survive, it’s a challenge to see what it is that motivates me to want to buy unnecessary things. So, in that, some of the motivation is different.

This is just typical of me, though. I see someone doing what I am doing and perceive them to be doing it “better” and I want to call it quits. I deflate. I lose inspiration. The fact of the matter is that no one is entirely original, there is always someone doing what you are doing; some better, some worse. What I need to learn is that it doesn’t matter, because the way I do things is uniquely my own approach.

So, no I have not cut out spending entirely as the one gal. Perhaps my approach is not laid out as clearly as the other writer’s. I also saw, in my searching for those particular articles to link in, that there are a heck of a lot more articles out there regarding “no shopping” or “slow shopping”.

What I should really take away from this is that, clearly, in our society today, shopping in excess is a problem. Many of us are trying to figure why and how to fix it. That’s okay. It will take an army of people and ideas. Maybe, for the next generation we will start to reconsider how we structure our country’s wealth (right now a captialist system dependent on endless and increasing spending- where do we put all this shit?!?) and start to innovate and redesign the direction in which we are heading, towards something more sustainable, environmental and supportive of humankind (ie, not relying on slave labour to sustain low prices).

So here I am, having swung from discouragement back to optimism.

I forge on.

 

All that said. I am SO tempted. I have been obsessing all week about getting a new uke. I love and have been playing the entry level Kala shark uke I picked up, about 8 months ago just before the start of this challenge. I love playing it. It is a joy and I cannot seem to get enough. And now, I want better.

Do I need better? No. I just want.

How do I reconcile those feelings? I could use some mental tricks to make valid my need for a new uke. I DO use it. A better sounding, all wooden uke would encourage more practice. BUUUUT…does my current uke work? Yes. Does it sound good? Decent, yes. And, most importantly, will anything about the quality of my life change with a new uke? Probably not.

I’m also coming to a point where I wonder if I need to lean in a bit more; get more serious and strict about how I spend. I’ve bought the occasional fancy coffee while out and I have been buying lunches out more often than I’d like, simply because I have burned out with the food prep. For the longest time I made sure to always leave the house with the girls, extra clothes, toys, diapers and a complete lunch spread, repleat with snacks and enough to share with friends whom we most certainly bump into or meet up with on a daily basis. But I am spent…and so I spend. Guh.

Oh, and did I mention that my hubs just bought a new “used car”? yeah. He needed for work and it was very inexpensive, so that was definitely “legal” spending, but something to consider when I think about how much money we might hemorrhage on any given day and what I can do to staunch that.

I won’t go into the details of all the spending, the temptations averted or not. I will say that it goes on, but that I have definitely slowed my spending. I can say that the 7.5 months have changed us in that spending is not at the fore- we go out and play instead of walking the aisles of stores, save for grocery Mondays. Most spending is on food, basic necessities not food related are second, frivolous a small third. I think it will have a lasting impact on the kids- I managed to stop what had begun to be a “can I buy this?” kind of awareness in my eldest. Now she couldn’t care less about shopping, “could we please go to the park, mommy?” If nothing else, that is a big success and a motivator to keep going.

I am considering stopping the use of the interwebs and smart phone in regards to browsing. That is the biggest tempter. When I use the web to research ukulele’s it inevitably leads to looking at prices and then online stores. Also those facebook buy/sell/trade pages. I can see that they add temptation that I don’t need. The down side to giving up the latter, is that I have managed to both sell items and buy some needed items at deep discounts (ie, remodeling our kitchen and my kids bedroom, which are on going projects and could benefit from some thriftiness). But is it worth the time and temptation? I don’t know. We’ll have to consider that more fully.

 

I have to go. The night sets in and the kids demand attention. I don’t know that I answered  the question I set out at the beginning. I certainly have swung from one end of the pendulum to the other. I hope this post is somewhat coherent.

Goodnight.

 

 

 

Week 29: Repentance Purging & Tempting the Inner Shopper

Week 29: Repentance Purging & Tempting the Inner Shopper

I had some deep thought regarding spending this week, something inspiring, and I didn’t write it down…and it’s gone. Oh well. I hope it will come to me again. If it does, I’ll let you know.

This week I decided that a wee purge was in order since last week I spent too much on unnecessary items. But since I am a mom with kids at the high demand stage, I wasn’t able to attack it with as much energy as I had hoped. I did manage one sort and purge session during a particularly long nap. I spent an hour reorganizing the toys into their designated bins and in the process pulled some toys that either have seen no love from the kids at all or are now too “baby” oriented. What I did was then post those toys as a single lot of “baby distracter” toys for sale on the local facebook buy/sell/trade page. That and a few other items all of which, to my surprise, sold. Yes, one thing I gave away for free, and the others were just token money, but it felt good. I not only got stuff out of the house, but I got a tiny bit of cash for it too.

I also returned those sparkly shoes I’d gotten for my 3 year old. ‘Why return it?’ you ask,’ if she really liked them and they were only a few bucks’. Well, for one, I had bought two other verysimilar shoes, and two, she herself said she wanted them returned. The slight glitch was that in the time it took me to make that final decision, I’d lost the receipt. I thought, ‘gosh darn, I’m going to have to keep them after all’. And then I thought, ‘gosh darn, other people would just go ahead and ask if it were possible anyway, I need to grow some cojones’. I am such a chicken when it comes to things like that. You should have seen me standing there, my two kids eating a snack in the back of my Volvo station wagon while I debated whether or not to go in with the shoes without the receipt to ask if they’d still return it, or if I should go in first, ask and then if they said yes, go back to the car to get the shoes…or if I should declare to the door security guy that I had a pair of shoes with tags on I was bringing in and that I was just going to the counter to see if it could be returned..just so he’d know I hadn’t stolen them. See, it made me nervous to go into a store without proof of purchase. I even thought about calling the whole darn thing off. What ended up happening was that I tried to channel my brother-in-law, Daniele’s, gumption ( he is a pro at returning items) and walked in, hauling both my kids with the shoes prominently held in my hands with tags on so the theft prevention guy could see it plainly, then walked straight to the line at the counter. When I got to the counter I WAY over explained myself, clearly, as the woman looked at me dully, said “yes, we can give you store credit” to which I thanked her and blathered on about how my toddler had chosen another pair from this store that she was currently wearing and that toddlers have such distinct individual tastes…and the woman said “yes. NEXT!!” …and that was that.

I have such a persecution complex. Honestly, I think that’s why we got through my immigration interviews so well, because I just blather and sweat so much that it is clear that I am so goddamn honest. A person who can truly lie well is someone with ready answers and a dry brow.

The history behind all of that is that I used to be painfully shy. I mean really shy. Like, I didn’t want to eat at friend’s houses because I didn’t want to draw attention to my chewing; I’d try to make no noise at all (which, of course, in hindsight, is way more conspicuous), I was terrified of answering phones (and sometimes still am). Along with that, as I grew older was fear of having to pay for things (because I didn’t want to take too long counting the money and make others wait) and hand in hand with that was not ever wanting to return something for fear that the store person would think that I had done something to the item and then scammed them by returning it. I know, crazy right? But there’s also more history there, because there was one time I was scammed as a retail sales person myself. Some man came in without a receipt with some elaborate story, I returned the item for him, gave him cash and then an hour later realized he’d simply take the item off the shelf while I wasn’t looking. So, yeah, I had a lot going though my head as I made the return. It seems silly, but that’s the mind for you.

But the ultimate take away is that I did it. I overcame all of that mind gunk.

And then I promptly put that store credit to use on birthday presents, because, yes folks, I have now entered that chapter of life when your kids’ friends have parties. Three parties in the next three weeks to be exact! Now, I don’t mean to out myself as a cheap skate to my mama friends who may be reading this blog, but the truth is that I want to find presents, good ones, at reasonable prices. Ideally we’d get all crafty and make something awesome, but this mama is getting real with herself…it ain’t happening. So, I had made my return at Ross, so that’s where we went to look for toys and books. Since Christmas fever has already struck all the major retailers, they are really well stocked. Now, while there were troves of overly cross-marketed, tv and movie character driven toys, there were still some great, not so branded items. I just had to dig. But we did good, and then we got right out of there. I will admit that I had a lot of fun!

This is Halloween week. I like to think that I am creative and that I can make costumes, but I tell you what, I was so glad when my eldest said she wanted to be a black cat. THAT I can do. For my littlest, I got a dog costume from a thrift store for a couple bucks months back. This is almost the last time she will not have an opinion so I took advantage of that ( though she certainly has an option about the hood part of the costume – she DOES NOT want it on her head!!!). For the cat, I relied on my eldest’s existing black clothing- black leggings, black sweater, black shoes, and then dug out a cat tail I had in my “costume” bag in the closet (a bag my husband questioned me about a while back when I refused to purge it along with my clothing I had been KonMari-ing. See! It did come in handy!). The only thing I had to do was knit a hat and buy some black cheapo mittens that I hot glued paw pads to and voila! Two costumes for under $10. Not bad.20161029_103644.jpg

I also stepped into the land of temptation just yesterday. It’s a long story but the gist is that the store was the newly opened Nordstrom Rack, we were nearby having just come from dinner, the kids were hopped up on rocket fuel aka food ( all food is rocket fuel for the kids; why does it always entail the desire for a nap in me?), so we needed to walk it off. After circling a set of benches (with the enthusiasm only the very young can muster)…oh, about 15,000 times, I just wanted to walk somewhere else. My sister in law was game, so we walked through the adjoining mall and ended up at NR. Man, that store has NICE stuff. In my head I was thinking ‘I want that…and that…oooh, do I need that? I think I need that….no I don’t…maybe I do…’

But we got out of there without anything. Phew! Why do I do that to myself? Maybe just to see if I can. I will say that it definitely did trigger the thoughts I sometimes have of wanting a select number of really high quality, classy items. A nice concept but not something I’ve managed to do or will manage to do in the near future. Right now it’s all about throw on clothes that will get stained despite my best efforts. It was interesting to note that these thoughts occurred along with feelings of excitement. Not sure what to do with that info though.

This week, I feel perhaps, a bit more successful than last. I’ll take it.

 

Week 28: The View Will Cost You

Week 28: The View Will Cost You

I’m so behind on this week’s blog I considered just skipping it and combining it with next week. I feel like it is getting harder to find time to write than it was just a few months ago. Or maybe it’s flagging enthusiasm for this challenge?

Yet I soldier on because I do not want to be a quitter. I have started to think about what all this will have meant once this one year challenge is over. Will I have gained any knowledge about how I operate as a consumer? Will I have learned to tighten my belt? Will there be any significant changes in the way I spend money? I don’t know the answer to any of those questions.

Right now I am feeling both grateful for my life and the plenty that I am surrounded with and I am also stressed by the on-going financial issues that our medical bills from a few months back continues to plague us with. I am reminded of how lucky we are to manage to get away for the weekend, as we just did, on a mini family vacation to Yosemite. At the same time, I am frightened by how costly that ended up being and feeling slight guilt over that (more on that in a bit).

I’m essentially an internal mess. I want to be frugal and thrifty, yet time and again we end up spending. I am caught between wanting to be content with only the bare minimum and finding that sometimes spending is not only just necessary but sanity fortifying. I wonder if we are being wise to enjoy our money now despite challenges, or foolish and should be more cautious and knuckle down and save, save, save. I do not want to be a foolhardy millennial living off of credit like there’s no tomorrow. I think it’s safe to say that that is not the case, but sometimes I feel as though we teeter on that brink.

Last week I did some online shopping for “essentials” thinking that I was being efficient with my time and energy (my time is worth something, too, right?). Well, as it turns out, some items were not exactly right. Now, I had to deal with the rigmarole of returns. Essentially, I ended up settling for ‘less-than-exactly-right’ items and gave another item to a friend’s kid rather than make that effort to repackage and pay for return shipping. What I have learned from that is, a physical store is still preferred despite the effort involved hauling the kids with me.

I will also confess to cute, sparkly, holiday appropriate shoes that I impulse bought for my girls. There was definitely no need there. I thought perhaps that I would use them in our yearly photo shoot ( my internal spending trickster came up with that one!), but have decided on a theme that actually will not include sparkly shoes. Sooo…I have been staring at those shoes, set right by the door with tags on, debating and debating. To return or not. Every time I think, ‘ok, I’ll return these’, I envision my littlest running around with those sparkly Mary Janes and she looks so CUUTE. But, when it comes time to take off the tags, I can’t. Maybe I will change my mind and want to return them….20161025_185125.jpg

So, they sit there yet. My eldest’s sparkly shoes with the tag on have made it as far as the trunk of my car ( she has a pair of shiny shoes already)…now to look for the receipt. I don’t know why this is so gosh darn hard for me. Honestly. And in accordance with the rules I laid out when I started this challenge, if I am unable to return items I’ve spent frivolously on, I need to give away items. So, I will focus on that. More purging is in order!

And about Yosemite this weekend. It was amazing. It is one of the most picturesque places one could ever hope to visit. It is definitely something as many people as possible should see. It also happens to be one of the most expensive State Parks one could visit. For a two night stay in their tent cabins (camping sites were already booked up when we booked  a few months ago) we were out almost $400. Then take into account that you aren’t allowed to cook there (lots of bears, drought with the potential for fires) so you need to buy dinners at approx $35 per meal for two adults and two kids. Also, the gas to travel 5.5 hours in both directions. Also, a $30 entrance fee for any and all visitors to Yosemite. All told we were looking at about $600. Now, the reason we like to camp is because it is the most affordable way to have a vacation. This did not fall into that category. It really did not. But we went with friends and they were all in and so were we. We had an absolutely marvelous time. The girls loved it. I loved the ease of having a cabin with beds, a bear box, a working light, and no food clean-up. It was quite fantastic. Aaand it is something we will not be repeating for quite some time!! So, yeah, there’s some guilt, but there is also gratitude for the fact that we could do it at all. 20161022_072900.jpg20161022_171652.jpg

So, what is this blog all about this week? I dunno. A sort of confessional. And I feel the need to admit that I am really feeling quite embarrassed about all of this. I set out to do this “no needless spending” thing with a lot of enthusiasm and optimism. As it turns out, I feel like I have been failing at it quite miserably. I am embarrassed that more often than not this has been a list of my failures. Why does it matter? It just does. I know that this blog is mostly just talking into the wind, but for the few of you who are reading (for which I am grateful) I want to be able to say that I am making progress, that something is shifting within me. I want answers to my query: why do I want to spend? I will have to just end with no answers, as yet, reached.

love and gratitude.

S

 

 

Week 27: Mulch Ado About Nothing

FeaturedWeek 27: Mulch Ado About Nothing

This has been a spending week. I will just come right out and say it. There were things that needed buying and I decided to not footsie around with it. It’s a fine balance between finding deals and just getting the shopping over with. One requires a lot of time and searching, the other requires being willing to throw down the money at one location and be done. The latter is what I did. My hubs needed new shoes, I needed work-out leggings and my kiddo needed new “fancy” shoes as her most favorite mary-janes are now a tight squeeze.

Since my hubs hates shopping, and when he does get a chance, usually backs out of it because he can’t be bothered, I decided to hit the shoe racks at our local Ross. I found 3 shoes that he potentially might wear and bought them all. It felt weird to do so, but the plan was to have him try them and then return the others. I know, it’s an extra step for me while hauling two kids, but believe me, this was the simpler option. And miraculously there was one pair in the three that he liked and which was on clearance price for $12; so we did good on that front ( And I’ve already been back to return the others so we got the cash back in hand). I picked up fancy shoes for both my kids as we are going to be doing a photo shoot for our yearly Christmas card (I do the photoshoot). Sparkly shoes were in order. It did feel a little frivolous, but when it comes to the girls and especially my oldest who is particularly fond of the glitter these days, I know that they will be well used beyond this photo op.

I had also ordered rain boots online for my oldest along with a few more items in the same order off of Amazon. It feels like I went on a massive spending spree, but I do believe that all items are of value to us: two thermoses for holding warm foods (now that it’s cold, it will be nice to have warm foods for our picnics!), rain boots, a double set of windshield breaking devices (I won’t go into too much detail…but after two local families experienced tragedies in which their children were trapped in submerged vehicles, this item is a necessity for me), and absorbent training undies for my eldest.  I think we will be using all of these items!  Oh yes, and four Peppa Pig books are on order from our local book store as potty training incentives.

I also had an influx of clothing into my wardrobe courtesy of my very generous sister-in-law. I did not spend a cent. If you can believe it, after all that mulling over puffy jackets a few weeks back, she gave me her Patagonia puffy jacket! I will cherish it for a long time. Thanks Rebekah.

And last but not least, the hubs threw down a couple hundred on mulch. It’s been a long time coming. We live in Nor Cal after all. It’s about time we did away with our lawn, which, truth be told is barely a lawn and more of a weed garden. So we laid down cardboard to suppress the weeds and put down a thick layer of mulch. It felt good to get that taken care of. I’m so impressed with my man and how he just gets things done. The girls had a grand ol’ time tumbling about in the mulch as we worked.

And that is all I am going to report for now. It’s been a spendy week but all for a purpose, so I think I can live with that.

Oh! And I consigned my stuff this week and made just over $200! Not bad! Feeling pretty good about that.

Cheers.

Week 26: Consigning

FeaturedWeek 26: Consigning

I don’t know if it’s worth it. Getting stuff ready to consign is labor intensive. There’s the selecting of clothes: is it in good condition? Are there stains? There’s the prepping of clothes: washing, ironing. There’s the hanging of the clothes and tagging. Then there will be the drop off. All told, I don’t know how many hours will have gone into it. And then, will they sell? Did I price it well enough? Are the items desirable enough?

But, I must say that it feels good. In a way it is a great way to move stuff along but at a pace where you get to say your goodbyes and prepare for separation. There are a lot of memories attached to some items of clothing. And truth be told, I can’t bear to part with some of it. For the most part, though, I am letting things go. Having kids necessitates that. I am always letting go. I have to let go of trying to hold onto the baby version of my toddler…and now my quickly growing baby too. I have to let go of wanting to feel needed when my big girl walks away without looking back. Clothes, to be honest, are the least of my worries!

And what helps fuel the letting go is the need to make room for the next influx. Change happens so quickly around here. It’s exciting, it’s stressful, it keeps me on my toes.

I am also preparing to make some purchases for my girl. She is hovering on the brink of growing out of all of her shoes. This means I need to assess what is necessary for her in terms of footwear. I think running shoes are the bees knees. My kid thinks patent Mary Janes are the bomb. I think rain boots would be appropriate considering the rainy season is approaching. My kid thinks “what’s ‘appropriate’ got to do with anything?” So, not only do I need to assess whether something is necessary, I have to very much take into account whether or not it will be worn. Pretty much anything not pink or purple is suspect in my kiddos eyes right now. It makes me want to weep.

So, after having reported last week that I was not talking about shopping much, I found myself doing exactly that ( what I like to call “shop talk”). I’ve been eyeing other kids’ shoes and asking their mom’s about them. All for a purpose, of course, but I am afraid I will fuel my shopping monster. I hover on the brink.

I can hold out a little longer. The need is immanent but not immediate. For the moment, I will focus on the letting go. Wish me good consigning mojo!

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