Soooo. I am going to just write it as it comes up and not hide the facts, though that is what I want to do. I am going to lay the truth out there because that is what this challenge is all about.
I have just invested money in something that, one could term “not a necessity”. Folks, it’s not a bike or new jeans, its not toys for the kids or an espresso maker…it’s a colonics session.
A WAH?!? you ask.
I know, TMI. But this is where I’m at and I had a moment, before committing to this appointment where I thought, ‘I can’t do this, because it’s not a necessity. If I do this, I am failing the challenge’.
But then I delved deeper, and I realized that if I don’t do this, I am, in actuality, failing myself and ultimately this challenge which is to help me figure out what my real priorities are.
We always say that self care is the most important. We remind new mothers to take care of themselves so that they can take care of their family. But those, until now, have all just been words and essentially theory for me. And I should know better. I grew up with a mom who was a shiatsu therapist, and aunties who are shiatsu therapists, massage therapists and iridologists. Natural/alternative medicine and body work is not strange to me, it is actually quite normal…at least in theory…because I have not actually turned to these modalities much at all since reaching adulthood. I have skimped on myself and have never chosen to ‘fork over the dough’, so to speak. The message here being, ‘I am not worth that kind of money’.
Well, you know what, I am now 35. I am a mother of two beautiful, exhausting daughters. My body has served me very well up until now with not much thanks and praise on my part. I have assumed, up until now, that I will do just fine as I am because…well, because. But I am not fine. I have spreading eczema that is currently overwhelming my neck and chest area. I am irritable from the constant itching and distracted too. I don’t sleep enough. I feel toxic. I feel literally and figuratively stagnant.
I’m choosing now to invest in me. Into trying to restore myself, starting with a cleanse so that I can truly detoxify.
I don’t know if its going to work. But I do know that I need to try.