When you can’t shop and you have two little ones in tow…what do you do? You hit up the free stuff, that’s what you do. The libraries here in Sonoma County are great. On any given day, at one of the branches, there is a toddler story time going on. I recently discovered that the Healdsburg library is really great, so that’s where we headed today.

On the way, of course, one must drive right through the down town, which is a tourist trap mecca. Its town square is gorgeous and is surrounded by an array of unique and intriguing stores. Obviously, I didn’t even go there. It was straight to the library for us, but as we passed by a big store window I saw some “trucker style” hats that had neat phrases on them in gold on a variety of tasteful colours; I’d seen them there last week. Oddly, I found myself desiringing them. It had occurred to me last week to park the car and go in to see what they cost but I couldn’t make the extra stop with the kids.

Now,what. in. the. world. do I need with a trucker hat that reads WINE or CAT ???

In what way would this object add to my life? I briefly pictured myself wearing it alongside my brother-in-law who himself wears trucker-style hats somewhat ironically, sharing a brief appreciation of our respective billed caps.

Honestly, it is extremely laughable. And yet, that urge still remains in me and I can’t shake it. What I will do is ignore it.

So, the library it was. We had a grand time singing along to songs and listening to stories and then hanging out in the library ourselves, reading books and playing with the toys. Then we hit up the local park, a fantastic, fantastical park designed to look like an archeological dig site with dinosaur bones embedded in the structure. We laid out our picnic and ate on a grassy knoll, then jumped into play time.

But I need to note this too: several people today commented on my girl’s jelly shoes. This is recent purchase and one of the sparks of “hey now, I don’t know if I like the precedent I’m setting with giving into her ‘need’ for this”. She loves them. She picked them herself. As we sat there eating our picnic lunch I looked at her shoes and had a surge of…excitement? Jellies spark an almost visceral response in me;  I loved mine as a child too. The momentary excitement lead me to envision buying a pair for myself…if indeed adult shoes of that style are even sold.

Can I exist one day without thinking of buying something?

This is all just in the spirit of honesty, exposing my thoughts for self-examination. I am somewhat appalled to discover, and lay bare, my inner thoughts. Kind of like the statistic of how many times a man thinks of sex during the day…how many times do I think of buying something? And why? WHY?! And DO I fall under the stereo type of woman as shopping fiend? Embarrassing.

Our day has come to an end. It was lovely. Nothing was spent. Success.

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